Speak The Words

In my space alone I speak the words of power hoping that they find purchase. If no one is there to hear me speak, did my voice really make a sound. In my space alone I speak the words of power...the power to go...the power to stay. In my space alone I speak the words of power and the shackles fall...in my space alone I speak the words of power and I am free.
I love you 💞

No Need

I really don't think that there's a need for good byes. 

What purpose do they serve. 

Is it just a  time to say it's me not you? Or, is the time for you to be non nonchalant and just say, "You do you."  

Sometimes it's just best to walk away.

No texts. no phone calls, no see you laters...

Just let it dissolve into something more like myth...

Something that might have  happened in a dream . 

A dream where you wake up and can't really remember the details, just the feeling.

Forever My Child

 Rachel Parker M e d i u m : Digital File or Giclée D i m e n s i o n s

From your very beginning in my womb, 

you were formed and shaped...before I even saw you.

You were already perfection in my eyes and in my heart.

My child there's nowhere you can go where my prayers can I find you.

 There is nowhere my voice cannot be carried on the wind. 

I wish that I could make everything right in your world, but I can't.

 I wish I could protect you from all hurt, harm, or danger, but I can't,

 But no this my beautiful child,

 no matter where you are, no matter how far you may go, no matter ills be fall you...

 you are my child.

 You are  Forever my child.

See Me

To be seen, For who I am.
For the all of me... the good, the bad.
the dark and  the light.
the scarred and the flawless.
I just want to be seen.
I know my value,
I know my worth.
But you can't you see it?
 
You look through me,
over me...
around me.

I've allowed you to make me feel discarded....unlovable and unwanted.
But what I have allowed, I can disallow...
That which I have freely given, I can take back.
This is my time now...
It's time for me...to see me.

When Lonely Is Familiar

And there it is, like an old friend. 

Familiar, comfortable, like that old worn out slipper. 

It's so easy....so easy that I don't even see it coming. 

It wraps itself around me, crawls into the very marrow of my bones.

Try as I might, I fail at keeping it out.

I've run as fast as I could. 

I thought I could outrun it you see... that was my mistake.

For it bides its time and waits.

It waited until it knew I was at my weakest...and then it was there. 

It's  name ...The Lonely

All I Want

I don't want much... 

Just the little things. 

If I come home from work and say,

"Honey I've had a really hard day."

All I want you to say is, "Baby let me rub your feet."

If I see a spider, which you know I'm afraid of, all I want you to say is"Honey don't worry, I got this."

If I wake up in the middle of the night from having a bad dream,

all I want you to do is hold me close and say "Baby it's gonna be alright."

And if I say I love you till the end of time all I want to hear you say is...

"Me too."

Closure

Sitting outside in the open sky...it's dark. I can see the stars and the moon. I wanted closure, but closure is a fallacy. I don't need to see you to say goodbye. I don't need false explanations. I need you to say what you think I want to hear. I don't need you to try and explain, to make things easier. Here under the sky, under the moon and stars alone, my heart has already said goodbye. That's my closure.

Breathe Into Me

When I close my eyes I can feel you....

I can taste the sweetness of your lips and tongue
Your warm breath envelopes me flowing into me and gives me life

     
"....and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."

Warm..soft ....sweet...

Hungry

I want it almost more than life itself
But it's so far away

I don't want to let go of the memory

But time and space are​ destroyers.
Wreaking havoc on everything they touch.

I will hold on as long as I can....

Don't let me go...don't let me go.

 - Pandora Esperanza

Water Through My Fingers

In the beginning was God and the word was with God....He created man, and so that man was not alone He in his infinite wisdom created woman...man, borne of the earth, but woman born of bone, both a creation of the Divine.

The DNA of the beginning calcified like rock into her very being. to search for the other, the missing, I am the flesh of your flesh.

But I am borne of the Angelic and the earth made bone.

Somewhere in the ether is the missing piece of my soul. When I thinks it's within my grasp it slips like water through my fingers. 

Is it my destiny to search through eternity always wanting but never finding....

each of my chakras wanting to connect to the one for which I was created...broken and abandoned waiting to be filled by the "I Alone", my other half....the bone of the bone.

I am Nephilim....child of heaven and earth, carnal flesh and divine....I am corrupt in my desire.... wanting your flesh. skin to skin, piel de piel.

Pure in the intention of my heart's desire, to hold only that which you can give...but it slips like water through my fingers.

Intoxicated

Staring into its depth,
mesmerized by the swirling amber colored past.
I drink the memory of what could have been...
burning as I swallow it down past the back of my thoughts...

Battle Scars

Etchings , patiently carved into what is left of my soul. The scarred map of my journey,traversing the labyrinth of you.
Twisting, turning...misleading.

Immortal Love

My soul is draped in the blackest of shrouds
My heart is cold, my skin is like ice.....
My eyes are lifeless.

Through the darkness you find me, you lift me.
I feel the warmth of your touch, you kiss me.

In Your Eyes

This was a poem that I wrote years ago, I actually think that it was my very first one. I was late one night and I was up studying, everyone else was asleep. I had been going through a challenging moment in life and out of no where these words started dancing through my spirit, my heart, my mind. My son Mikal calls it your "Sha Na Na". I posted this in an online forum that I had years ago, so consider this a re-post. 


In Your Eyes

I had never known it....
Or was that I could not see it.....
I peered into the very recesses of my being, but it always seemed to escape me, elude me.

In My Element

In was in my element

Walking down the proverbial yellow brick road of life

I knew what I wanted, where I wanted to be and how I was going to get there.

But somewhere, somehow, when I wasn’t looking the path dissolved

In a millisecond, the same amount of time that it takes you to blink,

I was floating in a sea of nothing.

No one knew, no one could tell because my feet kept moving

Moving through shear muscle and emotional memory

Seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, and hours to days and so forth, and so on, and ad infinitum.

I could feel you before I saw you

I could hear the intoxicating sounds that I would come to know as your voice.

You intertwined your fingers with the hand of my soul

I knew what I wanted, where I wanted to be, and how I was going to get there

I wasn’t going to find it at the end of a proverbial yellow brick road

I found it in you.

Rice Paper Wings

Rice Paper Wings....

.. ..

Each day it beings…......

The cycle….....

The change….....

I am born carried by the ....

gentle inspiration of His breath.....

.. ..

I change…the necessary metamorphosis…....

I become what I need to be in that moment,....

daughter, mother, wife….lover.....

On my wings I carry the hopes and dreams....

of those that I touch…......

.. ..

On my rice paper wings~....

.. ..

At the best of times, I am able…....

able to keep my wings in flight.....

Then there are times when I am sure….....

that with the next great wind….....

they will be ripped away from me …....

and I will plummet into the never ending....

Blackness beneath me…....

.. ..

Then He touches me and renews me….....

His words whispered….....

words that can only be interpreted by ones soul…......

and again I take flight…......

.. ..

On my rice paper wings~....

Pandora's Box

Pandora’s Box

It was given to me…

It was given to me in the moment of my creation.

Beautiful…gilded…when I touched it…

It seemed to move beneath my fingers.

But it would not open… it would not yield

To my desire…my desire to know

Its secrets locked inside.

What it carried, I did not know.

.. ..

I wanted to see…

To know what secrets lay inside,

But I was afraid… afraid of what

I might find, of what I might see.

But the box would not yield its mysteries to me.

.. ..

But it was not the box that needed to yield….

It was me……in that moment, my spirit let go….

And the box opened….

.. ..

Out of the box

came all of my deepest fears….

my hurts….

my disappointments…..

They hovered above me

like the blackest cloud…

I had been betrayed

by the beauty of the box.

But I looked into the box

deeper still…

and there it was…

one

small

light….

I held it in my hand….

and it began to grow brighter

My fear became strength….

My hurt became hope…

And my disappointments 

became my dreams.