Fade To Black

I want to believe,
I need to believe...
I need to believe in love.
The longer I live the more I feel...
I need to let go.
Maybe it would be easier if I felt nothing. Maybe holding on to the life spark that's love is too much for me to bear...
I don't know..
soon I'm afraid I'll fade into nothing.

Change My Name

The world calls me undesirable...
The world calls me ugly...
The world calls me broken...
The world calls me unwanted...
The world calls me used...
The world calls me dirty...

But You spoke the rhema words that would forever change my name, "Father into thy hands I commend my spirit."

You changed my name to priceless,
You changed my name to beautiful,
You changed my name to perfection,
You changed my name to precious,
You changed my name to new,
You changed my name to pure,

You changed my name to Reborn

Pandora Esperanza 2018

When Lonely Is Familiar

And there it is, like an old friend. 

Familiar, comfortable, like that old worn out slipper. 

It's so easy....so easy that I don't even see it coming. 

It wraps itself around me, crawls into the very marrow of my bones.

Try as I might, I fail at keeping it out.

I've run as fast as I could. 

I thought I could outrun it you see... that was my mistake.

For it bides its time and waits.

It waited until it knew I was at my weakest...and then it was there. 

It's  name ...The Lonely

All I Want

I don't want much... 

Just the little things. 

If I come home from work and say,

"Honey I've had a really hard day."

All I want you to say is, "Baby let me rub your feet."

If I see a spider, which you know I'm afraid of, all I want you to say is"Honey don't worry, I got this."

If I wake up in the middle of the night from having a bad dream,

all I want you to do is hold me close and say "Baby it's gonna be alright."

And if I say I love you till the end of time all I want to hear you say is...

"Me too."

Peace

The wind passes through me and over me. This is where I find peace. This is where I find solace. Wrapped up in a blanket of God's own creation. The universe becomes an extension of my mind. My heart is open to all the possibilities. There's nothing that stands between me and my future except myself. I Am a wonder of creation. I Am able to be all that I need to be. I Am that which God has wonderfully, fearfully, and beautifully made. I am a black woman.

Closure

Sitting outside in the open sky...it's dark. I can see the stars and the moon. I wanted closure, but closure is a fallacy. I don't need to see you to say goodbye. I don't need false explanations. I need you to say what you think I want to hear. I don't need you to try and explain, to make things easier. Here under the sky, under the moon and stars alone, my heart has already said goodbye. That's my closure.

Providence

"In the beginning was the word the Word, the word was with God, and the Word was God..Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being..."

I mark the passing of time with sunrises and sunsets waiting... 

Knowing that there's a path for me. A pre-ordained,  predestined path that God has gently set my feet upon.

I follow my path one step at a time. Sometimes the way is dark, pitch black...but I know that He is there..

The storm winds can be violent. Blowing life's debris in my eyes...I can't see..but He speaks a rhema word, "Peace be still."

Sometimes the ground seems to give way under my feet...

He catches me...I am so tired.

"Come to me,  all who are weary and heavy laden. And I will give you rest."

He places a kiss upon my forehead....He changes my name.