Fade To Black

I want to believe,
I need to believe...
I need to believe in love.
The longer I live the more I feel...
I need to let go.
Maybe it would be easier if I felt nothing. Maybe holding on to the life spark that's love is too much for me to bear...
I don't know..
soon I'm afraid I'll fade into nothing.

When Lonely Is Familiar

And there it is, like an old friend. 

Familiar, comfortable, like that old worn out slipper. 

It's so easy....so easy that I don't even see it coming. 

It wraps itself around me, crawls into the very marrow of my bones.

Try as I might, I fail at keeping it out.

I've run as fast as I could. 

I thought I could outrun it you see... that was my mistake.

For it bides its time and waits.

It waited until it knew I was at my weakest...and then it was there. 

It's  name ...The Lonely

Closure

Sitting outside in the open sky...it's dark. I can see the stars and the moon. I wanted closure, but closure is a fallacy. I don't need to see you to say goodbye. I don't need false explanations. I need you to say what you think I want to hear. I don't need you to try and explain, to make things easier. Here under the sky, under the moon and stars alone, my heart has already said goodbye. That's my closure.

Evanesce

There was a time that in my imaginings I could close my eyes and see the face that inspired my

deepest 
                            darkest 
                        
                                                       desires. 

That face was your face.

Time and distance have reduced what once was the purest of erotic muses to less than a distant memory.

Now my innermost want has no face...my inner eye tries to focus on something that no longer exists. That is when

I new I was truly alone.

Tendrils of my well-kept thoughts that escape darkness have no where to find their rest;

 seeking to touch that which they cannot fathom,

the seat of my desire

crumbling beneath the weight of  cruel emptiness.

My heart wanting to take solace in the Paradise Lost that's very nature is an enigma.

That is when I knew
I
was
truly
alone.

Intoxicated

Staring into its depth,
mesmerized by the swirling amber colored past.
I drink the memory of what could have been...
burning as I swallow it down past the back of my thoughts...

Battle Scars

Etchings , patiently carved into what is left of my soul. The scarred map of my journey,traversing the labyrinth of you.
Twisting, turning...misleading.

Conspiritorium

Weightless......
Floating........

Deprived of all things, wrapped in.....darkness.....silence.....time.

Singing To The Wind

Singing to the Wind

While I slept, my soul was stolen from me.

A thief had come in the night,

silent and dark as shadow.

I woke to an emptiness that reached back

to the beginning of time.

I asked the birds had they seen my soul,

And they did not know.

I asked the trees had they seen my soul,

And they did not know.

I asked the sun and the moon surely they would know,

For they were the wisest, the first of God’s creations,

When He separated the light from the darkness,

And they did not know.

I asked the great waters,

for they touched the entire world,

And they did not know.

Then in the stillness….came the wind….and it spoke,

“Sing to me; sing to me the song

that only your soul,

and your soul alone can understand,

and I will carry your song.

I will carry it to the ends of the earth,

and I will find your soul.

And so I sang…..

I sang to the wind….

I sang until I wept…..

That night, as I slept, I felt the soft

cool caress of the wind.

And again, it spoke, but this time

in a whisper, “I have found your soul.”

And it place my soul in the black void,

And I was filled….

I was complete.